5 months or so

i'm gestating.

not physiologically. but physically mentally emotionally, and spiritually.
after five or so months in this practice i've done forty births.

in all 112.

documented. somewhere around seventy or eighty.

my *numbers* are coming together. i'm unlikely to succeed in making the canadian requirements. 30 primary continuity of care. i might be close. i don't know. i stress about this. panic attacks.


in may it will be ten months and i'm due to finish this preceptorship.


i have no idea what happens next. applying to bridging programs. applying to NARM. work permits.

i have to go through this process.

there is no fast >> forward.

i'm gestating an unknown.