question was asked, this is written in response.
Ok so much has been accomplished in the last few months. I've FINALLY begun my books studies. something that i should have been doing for ages now. but was so discombobulated before that i needed a bit more guidance.
Of course there have been struggles particularly revolving around my personal life, but they seem to matter less now that i am finally DOING what I've been wanting to do for several years now. Who knows, had i not walked the path i had i may not be where i am...alternatively I could be much further along. that is an unnecessary question though.
I did my first vaginal exam yesterday. yes i just said vaginal. does that make you cringe? I felt a babies head bob on my fingers while still in utero. pretty damn cool if you ask me.
is this a calling? a passion? I don't know. there are definitely women i have met along the way that it is clearly obvious that THIS is what they are supposed to be doing. Alls I know is that this is the first time in years that i am not depressed. None of it grosses me out, though some of it scares the heck out of me and makes me nervous...but that is more a result of Shell throwing me into the deep end.
I wish i had more expereince..more knowledge. either through memorising of all the books i've read or through life experience that has imprinted all that knowledge into me. perhaps i'd feel more confident if i were initiated into the club?
that is all irrelevant when you can comfort a women in her time of need. i may not have all the answers, say all the right things, but I KNOW what comes naturally. you can't fake that, you can't LEARN that. you are BORN that way. all your life expereinces helps to create that empathy. it doesn't matter that i haven't pushed a baby out of my vagina (yes i said it again) or had a surgical birth. but i can sit there and be engaged while other mommas talk about all the issues that surround it. I can cry along with them when they speak of the loss they feel through unfortunate experiences.
does that make it a calling? or my passion? regardless of where this current life lesson takes me. it has been just that a lesson. one that solidifies within my being that this is what i want to do.
i am so grateful for this opportunity.
thank you Shell (and of course Michael who feeds us and brings us coffee)
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Relocating to the East Valley
I suppose it would be best if I read back in my post to see what I've said, so there are no gaps, but that's not my style. With the birth centre on hold because of the Monte Vista location I've had to move...this was not a bad thing despite the fortunate situation I was in. It's too bad the property won't work out, but with Shell's practice expanding the pace of things are picking up. I meet my second mother tomorrow. I look forward to helping these mom's and by the sounds of it this next one will probably be teaching me a lot as this is her third home birthed baby!!
I'm so excited and things are really starting to come together. My studies I feel are coming along. I'm definitely engaged in the material, but there is so much to know. so much to learn. and i'm excited about it all!!
so back to the title of this post. I've moved! it was touch and go for a bit, I had a lovely offer from my new friend Rafael, but this seemed be where I was meant to go. I feel a bit bad that Ralph and Marshall went through the effort of cleaning out the room for me. I do feel bad about that, but I'm now living with three lovely women, all socially and environmentally consious. We have ten chickens, solar panels on the roof for the water heater, composting, communal...its wonderful! down part is the new commute I have to make into Phoenix, but we're currently working out a transit/bike plan that may work.
Anyways, all is well in the state of denmark.
My focus attention right now is on our lovely Echo and hoping she goes into labour soon. I wish I could be there with her, but I know she is strong and powerful and it will be a beautiful birth.
I'm so excited and things are really starting to come together. My studies I feel are coming along. I'm definitely engaged in the material, but there is so much to know. so much to learn. and i'm excited about it all!!
so back to the title of this post. I've moved! it was touch and go for a bit, I had a lovely offer from my new friend Rafael, but this seemed be where I was meant to go. I feel a bit bad that Ralph and Marshall went through the effort of cleaning out the room for me. I do feel bad about that, but I'm now living with three lovely women, all socially and environmentally consious. We have ten chickens, solar panels on the roof for the water heater, composting, communal...its wonderful! down part is the new commute I have to make into Phoenix, but we're currently working out a transit/bike plan that may work.
Anyways, all is well in the state of denmark.
My focus attention right now is on our lovely Echo and hoping she goes into labour soon. I wish I could be there with her, but I know she is strong and powerful and it will be a beautiful birth.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
One Month
Happy Canada Day!!
OK. I've been here in Phoenix now for just over one month. It has been an interesting and exciting month. Filled with ups, downs and unknowns. With the birth centre on hold I have all the time in the world to focus on my own studies which at some point should get philosophical about, but for now...strictly academic.
My studies are coming along, various readings. Various projects. Working on a report of gestational diabetes. best way to learn. sitting in on prenatal visits and next we are starting having student days/classes once a week. will all see where this goes.
had some minor setbacks this week. found out that in order to practice midwifery in europe i more of less have to go to a canadian school for midwfiery. most american programs won't cut it and definitely self directed or apprenticeship route in a homebirth setting won't be accepted. I will have pretty much no chance or practicing in the UK. this has all put intense pressure on my personal relationship and the decision was made to take a step back. there is not much i can do about that one at this point, but to carry on. Its difficult to think that a career choice has so much impact on other aspects of ones life.
Perhaps the life of a midwife is best being a solitary one?
I've met some great new friends here in Phoenix and they are good company. Found a wee cafe open late where I can be most productive or like tonight, whittle away the hours. I am a tired one tonight. Made lots of progress early on in the day, but that quickly dropped off this evening. but that is OK.
I feel at peace and a sense of belonging here.
OK. I've been here in Phoenix now for just over one month. It has been an interesting and exciting month. Filled with ups, downs and unknowns. With the birth centre on hold I have all the time in the world to focus on my own studies which at some point should get philosophical about, but for now...strictly academic.
My studies are coming along, various readings. Various projects. Working on a report of gestational diabetes. best way to learn. sitting in on prenatal visits and next we are starting having student days/classes once a week. will all see where this goes.
had some minor setbacks this week. found out that in order to practice midwifery in europe i more of less have to go to a canadian school for midwfiery. most american programs won't cut it and definitely self directed or apprenticeship route in a homebirth setting won't be accepted. I will have pretty much no chance or practicing in the UK. this has all put intense pressure on my personal relationship and the decision was made to take a step back. there is not much i can do about that one at this point, but to carry on. Its difficult to think that a career choice has so much impact on other aspects of ones life.
Perhaps the life of a midwife is best being a solitary one?
I've met some great new friends here in Phoenix and they are good company. Found a wee cafe open late where I can be most productive or like tonight, whittle away the hours. I am a tired one tonight. Made lots of progress early on in the day, but that quickly dropped off this evening. but that is OK.
I feel at peace and a sense of belonging here.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
JOURNEY TO MIDWIFERY
Well I have arrived in Phoenix to work with midwife Shell Walker. It's been nearly two years since I first contacted her and made the decision to pursue midwifery. The road has been adventurous and at times I've deviated, but I'm here now.
I won't elaborate on the diversions as most of it was preparing me for this moment. Since I made the decision I quite my job as an archaeologist, trained as a birth and post partum doula, spent time in The Gambia (with my dear friend Echo) and volunteered at the Bijilo Medical Centre where I attended my first birth! It was here any fears that I would not be cut out for a profession that involved birth were dispelled and I was confident this is what I want to do. After leaving The Gambia I continued travelling, I made my way to India where I trained as a yoga teacher. I want to provide wholistic care and for me yoga in integral. I also wanted to develop and deepen my own practice. In this year I spent outside of Canada I also reconnected and fell in love with my soul mate. I spent nearly half the year in Manchester building a bond with him, unfortunately the UK is currently not the place for me as I struggled to enter into the birthing and yoga community there. I returned to Canada and to Regina, a place I haven't lived for ten years, but a place where the community had welcomed me before I had even arrived.
In the last 5 months I have met some incredible women. All who have given me such great strength and energy. I attended another two births, the first happened so fast neither of us could really do anything but go with the flow. It was an amazing expereince and I witnessed such great female strength from Risa as she birthed baby Gaia into the world. The second birth I was part of was Amandas and it was twins!!! I spent more time with Amanda and worked more intimately with her in yogic practice. We had fun. They babies were beautiful and healthy.
There is so much for me to learn and during part of this last 5 months I was fortunate to work with many teachers. Angela was the first to take me in and influnced me with her Birthing Within teachings. Marie graciously allowed me into her prenatal yoga class and gave me the opportunity to teach. Confidence through practice! I also spent a great deal of time with Sonya Duffee and wonderful women and midwife struggling against buracracy. We all must send positive vibrations out for her and the women of Regina who currently do not have the option of midwifery care. The greatest achievement was being part of an organizing committee for a fundraiser bringing awareness to Doula care. The night was fabulous and a great success.
After surprising my father with a 60th birthday party and the arrival of Gavin (his first visit to Canada!!) I began the journey here, to Phoenix. We took our time driving across the prairies and foothills, into the Rockies and to Vancouver. We had a great time, were taken well care of by Nova and Daniel, but unfortunately never met up with all that we could have. We expereince a festival at a magical place and then continued our journey south winding our way through diverse landscapes that we never knew existed. It was a beautiful trip and one of the best I've ever had. It was so special to share such a trip with someone so special.
We arrived in Phoenix only a few days ago, it was a sad parting with Gav as I saw him off to the airport, but a new beginning for me.
i'll leave this here for now...there is more as i've already begun my studies with a class yesterday, but there is still so much to digest. i feel so blessed. so excited and feel so special with all the support i am receiving from new and old friends alike.
I won't elaborate on the diversions as most of it was preparing me for this moment. Since I made the decision I quite my job as an archaeologist, trained as a birth and post partum doula, spent time in The Gambia (with my dear friend Echo) and volunteered at the Bijilo Medical Centre where I attended my first birth! It was here any fears that I would not be cut out for a profession that involved birth were dispelled and I was confident this is what I want to do. After leaving The Gambia I continued travelling, I made my way to India where I trained as a yoga teacher. I want to provide wholistic care and for me yoga in integral. I also wanted to develop and deepen my own practice. In this year I spent outside of Canada I also reconnected and fell in love with my soul mate. I spent nearly half the year in Manchester building a bond with him, unfortunately the UK is currently not the place for me as I struggled to enter into the birthing and yoga community there. I returned to Canada and to Regina, a place I haven't lived for ten years, but a place where the community had welcomed me before I had even arrived.
In the last 5 months I have met some incredible women. All who have given me such great strength and energy. I attended another two births, the first happened so fast neither of us could really do anything but go with the flow. It was an amazing expereince and I witnessed such great female strength from Risa as she birthed baby Gaia into the world. The second birth I was part of was Amandas and it was twins!!! I spent more time with Amanda and worked more intimately with her in yogic practice. We had fun. They babies were beautiful and healthy.
There is so much for me to learn and during part of this last 5 months I was fortunate to work with many teachers. Angela was the first to take me in and influnced me with her Birthing Within teachings. Marie graciously allowed me into her prenatal yoga class and gave me the opportunity to teach. Confidence through practice! I also spent a great deal of time with Sonya Duffee and wonderful women and midwife struggling against buracracy. We all must send positive vibrations out for her and the women of Regina who currently do not have the option of midwifery care. The greatest achievement was being part of an organizing committee for a fundraiser bringing awareness to Doula care. The night was fabulous and a great success.
After surprising my father with a 60th birthday party and the arrival of Gavin (his first visit to Canada!!) I began the journey here, to Phoenix. We took our time driving across the prairies and foothills, into the Rockies and to Vancouver. We had a great time, were taken well care of by Nova and Daniel, but unfortunately never met up with all that we could have. We expereince a festival at a magical place and then continued our journey south winding our way through diverse landscapes that we never knew existed. It was a beautiful trip and one of the best I've ever had. It was so special to share such a trip with someone so special.
We arrived in Phoenix only a few days ago, it was a sad parting with Gav as I saw him off to the airport, but a new beginning for me.
i'll leave this here for now...there is more as i've already begun my studies with a class yesterday, but there is still so much to digest. i feel so blessed. so excited and feel so special with all the support i am receiving from new and old friends alike.
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