So, I have been researching on how I am going to obtain a visa to continue to apprentice under Shell. Some days it looks positive, but as of late not so much. Not really sure where to go from here.
Midwifery isn't exactly at the top of the list when it comes to the government. They say they are hiring midwives, but they make it very difficult. Acknowledging that most of their midwives are educated outside of Canada, there seems to be no easy path to work with a preceptor for a prolonged period of time.
Schools. That is a joke, and not a funny one. UK schools, allegedly the highest standard, comes at a cost of $50,000 to $60,000 at the end of it being an International student. On the other side, I'm blatantly not ELIGIBLE to study at most schools, because their programs are NHS funded. Another hit to a socialized healthcare scheme? Only for us foreign students who are desperately trying to find their way.
Canadian schools not much help. Half the time I can't even reach them...either by email or phone. Understaffed? Typical across Canada. SO what's left?
Risk living illegally yet not on the shoulder of another country? i'm more than capable of supporting myself (along with the help of a very supportive community). Risk losing my national healthcare? Beginning my own fight to follow this path, which has now become such a passion. Not only because I want it for myself, but if I've ever needed a cause to advocate for, this is it.
Keep posted on my upcoming analysis on the state of Midwifery affairs in Canada.
Dire, but hopeful?
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
have you posted a new blog?
question was asked, this is written in response.
Ok so much has been accomplished in the last few months. I've FINALLY begun my books studies. something that i should have been doing for ages now. but was so discombobulated before that i needed a bit more guidance.
Of course there have been struggles particularly revolving around my personal life, but they seem to matter less now that i am finally DOING what I've been wanting to do for several years now. Who knows, had i not walked the path i had i may not be where i am...alternatively I could be much further along. that is an unnecessary question though.
I did my first vaginal exam yesterday. yes i just said vaginal. does that make you cringe? I felt a babies head bob on my fingers while still in utero. pretty damn cool if you ask me.
is this a calling? a passion? I don't know. there are definitely women i have met along the way that it is clearly obvious that THIS is what they are supposed to be doing. Alls I know is that this is the first time in years that i am not depressed. None of it grosses me out, though some of it scares the heck out of me and makes me nervous...but that is more a result of Shell throwing me into the deep end.
I wish i had more expereince..more knowledge. either through memorising of all the books i've read or through life experience that has imprinted all that knowledge into me. perhaps i'd feel more confident if i were initiated into the club?
that is all irrelevant when you can comfort a women in her time of need. i may not have all the answers, say all the right things, but I KNOW what comes naturally. you can't fake that, you can't LEARN that. you are BORN that way. all your life expereinces helps to create that empathy. it doesn't matter that i haven't pushed a baby out of my vagina (yes i said it again) or had a surgical birth. but i can sit there and be engaged while other mommas talk about all the issues that surround it. I can cry along with them when they speak of the loss they feel through unfortunate experiences.
does that make it a calling? or my passion? regardless of where this current life lesson takes me. it has been just that a lesson. one that solidifies within my being that this is what i want to do.
i am so grateful for this opportunity.
thank you Shell (and of course Michael who feeds us and brings us coffee)
Ok so much has been accomplished in the last few months. I've FINALLY begun my books studies. something that i should have been doing for ages now. but was so discombobulated before that i needed a bit more guidance.
Of course there have been struggles particularly revolving around my personal life, but they seem to matter less now that i am finally DOING what I've been wanting to do for several years now. Who knows, had i not walked the path i had i may not be where i am...alternatively I could be much further along. that is an unnecessary question though.
I did my first vaginal exam yesterday. yes i just said vaginal. does that make you cringe? I felt a babies head bob on my fingers while still in utero. pretty damn cool if you ask me.
is this a calling? a passion? I don't know. there are definitely women i have met along the way that it is clearly obvious that THIS is what they are supposed to be doing. Alls I know is that this is the first time in years that i am not depressed. None of it grosses me out, though some of it scares the heck out of me and makes me nervous...but that is more a result of Shell throwing me into the deep end.
I wish i had more expereince..more knowledge. either through memorising of all the books i've read or through life experience that has imprinted all that knowledge into me. perhaps i'd feel more confident if i were initiated into the club?
that is all irrelevant when you can comfort a women in her time of need. i may not have all the answers, say all the right things, but I KNOW what comes naturally. you can't fake that, you can't LEARN that. you are BORN that way. all your life expereinces helps to create that empathy. it doesn't matter that i haven't pushed a baby out of my vagina (yes i said it again) or had a surgical birth. but i can sit there and be engaged while other mommas talk about all the issues that surround it. I can cry along with them when they speak of the loss they feel through unfortunate experiences.
does that make it a calling? or my passion? regardless of where this current life lesson takes me. it has been just that a lesson. one that solidifies within my being that this is what i want to do.
i am so grateful for this opportunity.
thank you Shell (and of course Michael who feeds us and brings us coffee)
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Relocating to the East Valley
I suppose it would be best if I read back in my post to see what I've said, so there are no gaps, but that's not my style. With the birth centre on hold because of the Monte Vista location I've had to move...this was not a bad thing despite the fortunate situation I was in. It's too bad the property won't work out, but with Shell's practice expanding the pace of things are picking up. I meet my second mother tomorrow. I look forward to helping these mom's and by the sounds of it this next one will probably be teaching me a lot as this is her third home birthed baby!!
I'm so excited and things are really starting to come together. My studies I feel are coming along. I'm definitely engaged in the material, but there is so much to know. so much to learn. and i'm excited about it all!!
so back to the title of this post. I've moved! it was touch and go for a bit, I had a lovely offer from my new friend Rafael, but this seemed be where I was meant to go. I feel a bit bad that Ralph and Marshall went through the effort of cleaning out the room for me. I do feel bad about that, but I'm now living with three lovely women, all socially and environmentally consious. We have ten chickens, solar panels on the roof for the water heater, composting, communal...its wonderful! down part is the new commute I have to make into Phoenix, but we're currently working out a transit/bike plan that may work.
Anyways, all is well in the state of denmark.
My focus attention right now is on our lovely Echo and hoping she goes into labour soon. I wish I could be there with her, but I know she is strong and powerful and it will be a beautiful birth.
I'm so excited and things are really starting to come together. My studies I feel are coming along. I'm definitely engaged in the material, but there is so much to know. so much to learn. and i'm excited about it all!!
so back to the title of this post. I've moved! it was touch and go for a bit, I had a lovely offer from my new friend Rafael, but this seemed be where I was meant to go. I feel a bit bad that Ralph and Marshall went through the effort of cleaning out the room for me. I do feel bad about that, but I'm now living with three lovely women, all socially and environmentally consious. We have ten chickens, solar panels on the roof for the water heater, composting, communal...its wonderful! down part is the new commute I have to make into Phoenix, but we're currently working out a transit/bike plan that may work.
Anyways, all is well in the state of denmark.
My focus attention right now is on our lovely Echo and hoping she goes into labour soon. I wish I could be there with her, but I know she is strong and powerful and it will be a beautiful birth.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
One Month
Happy Canada Day!!
OK. I've been here in Phoenix now for just over one month. It has been an interesting and exciting month. Filled with ups, downs and unknowns. With the birth centre on hold I have all the time in the world to focus on my own studies which at some point should get philosophical about, but for now...strictly academic.
My studies are coming along, various readings. Various projects. Working on a report of gestational diabetes. best way to learn. sitting in on prenatal visits and next we are starting having student days/classes once a week. will all see where this goes.
had some minor setbacks this week. found out that in order to practice midwifery in europe i more of less have to go to a canadian school for midwfiery. most american programs won't cut it and definitely self directed or apprenticeship route in a homebirth setting won't be accepted. I will have pretty much no chance or practicing in the UK. this has all put intense pressure on my personal relationship and the decision was made to take a step back. there is not much i can do about that one at this point, but to carry on. Its difficult to think that a career choice has so much impact on other aspects of ones life.
Perhaps the life of a midwife is best being a solitary one?
I've met some great new friends here in Phoenix and they are good company. Found a wee cafe open late where I can be most productive or like tonight, whittle away the hours. I am a tired one tonight. Made lots of progress early on in the day, but that quickly dropped off this evening. but that is OK.
I feel at peace and a sense of belonging here.
OK. I've been here in Phoenix now for just over one month. It has been an interesting and exciting month. Filled with ups, downs and unknowns. With the birth centre on hold I have all the time in the world to focus on my own studies which at some point should get philosophical about, but for now...strictly academic.
My studies are coming along, various readings. Various projects. Working on a report of gestational diabetes. best way to learn. sitting in on prenatal visits and next we are starting having student days/classes once a week. will all see where this goes.
had some minor setbacks this week. found out that in order to practice midwifery in europe i more of less have to go to a canadian school for midwfiery. most american programs won't cut it and definitely self directed or apprenticeship route in a homebirth setting won't be accepted. I will have pretty much no chance or practicing in the UK. this has all put intense pressure on my personal relationship and the decision was made to take a step back. there is not much i can do about that one at this point, but to carry on. Its difficult to think that a career choice has so much impact on other aspects of ones life.
Perhaps the life of a midwife is best being a solitary one?
I've met some great new friends here in Phoenix and they are good company. Found a wee cafe open late where I can be most productive or like tonight, whittle away the hours. I am a tired one tonight. Made lots of progress early on in the day, but that quickly dropped off this evening. but that is OK.
I feel at peace and a sense of belonging here.
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