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Sunday, May 29, 2011

The Maine Adventure Continues

Sitting at the airport in Portland with Shauntée waiting for Amanda and then Nadine to drive us for school. I'm happy that i got to spend the afternoon with Shauntée. I've missed her. Usually we skype of gchat more between classes so we're not the far apart, but we've both been so busy. We're sharing a room for the next two weeks so it's not like there won't be enough catch up time, but it's made the 5 hour wait at the airport more enjoyable.

The journey has been long and somewhat grueling with an apparent late onset development of strep throat (or at least probably the most painful sore throat i've had in my adult life). Gah. Hoping not in infect everyone.

I happy to see my sister students and to hopefully take the time to walk in the forest. It's a foggy, grey and humid day here in Portland. 57 degrees F. 

It's always tough leaving for school. I have to leave the practice, which makes me sad. To leave the mothers and the family of women that I work with.

I'm not sure if coming to school is the break or not, but this session I feel I have so many assignments due and presentations and exams that I'm not ready. 

Curious as to how everyone did this past "break"

We are all in very different practices. One of my sister students texted me yesterday to say she was on her way to a birth and hadn't packed yet! yikes. I'm wondering about the changes they've experienced, if they are taking on new roles and had any experiences that caused them to grow as midwives.

I feel this last clinical session for me had less births and more practice related focus. Which is good. There is more to being a midwife than just catching babies. I feel more confident in prenatals. 

I still have my focus. I have a lot to learn, to practice and to master. One step at a time.

Midwives Rising!

We are in our new office now and its amazing. We had our grand opening last weekend. It was so wonderful to share the space with the families and women around us that love us and want to create something special in central Phoenix.

The last month or so we've been focusing on organizing and revamping. Scrubbing and Painting. 

Midwives Rising! is what we are calling ourselves. Seems like so much more than just midwifery care, and it's so great that the community is really embracing our new space. The house is beginning to flow with mothers and babes throughout the week.



Sunday, May 8, 2011

Happy Mother's Day

i participated in a powerful labour last night. 

i don't think that i have ever felt so much strength coursing into me from another person.

my body hurts. sleep calls to me, but my mind can't stop. 


a woman became a mother today.


taking a moment to appreciate my own. 

love to all the mothers out there, for all you do and how beautiful you are.
your strength, your power is raw and real. 
your tenderness is what shapes who we are.
thank you.


Monday, May 2, 2011

morning ramblings

So talking and thinking a lot lately about where i am and how i got here and where i want to go.

I know that i don't fit the mold of most birth enthusiasts. I'm not a wife, not a mother, have not been overly surrounded by birth throughout my life.

What I am though is a women who see's the world as a pretty messed up place.

Who knows why there is such an increase in allergies, cancers, deficiencies, autism, ADHD, etc., but i think the first place that we can correct any issues is by protecting pregnancy and birth.

As I have been apprenticing over the last two years I am developing a connection between the mother-baby bond and how I can protect that. In that pairing, I am still removed. Maybe one day I will be part of the trinity that includes the midwife, right now though I am content in observing this powerful connection a mother holds with her growing baby.

I came to midwifery in a very pragmatic way. I'm sure I've said this before, but it was a choice. Well it was a suggestion made to me that felt right, and once I accepted it within my heart the path opened to me with great ease.

I'm not sure if this makes me disconnected or more objective. Having not experienced birth that is. Never having felt the weight and movement in my womb of a growing baby.

We recently had a mother who didn't take care of herself the greatest throughout her pregnancy, but was determined to have a homebirth. She was committed and her faith in God strong. It was the first time I saw a women hemorrhage. It was nothing that could not be handled in the home, no transfusion required, nothing too emergent, but it was really for me the first time in that situation.

I found that it didn't bother me at all. It was what it was and we did what needed to be done.

We have had a few dystocia where the baby needed a bit more help into this world, but again all things that were managed quickly, efficiently and with love by my midwife. I get freaked out in these situations. Babies to me are so delicate. I don't have personal experience with them. I've babysat. But really most of that was decades or more ago and really doesn't not apply to the newborn, or newly born.

My sense of trust in women comes from being one. Knowing how strong we are.

What I've seen is sometimes it takes birth for a women to find her strength. That may be from an empowering homebirth where there was very little intervention or management, to an empowering response to a cesarean. What ever the cause, women are finding their strength through birth. They are also finding this strength throughout the course of their pregnancy! That is a beautiful sight. Like a blooming flower.

I find myself understanding my path, not through trying to heal my past experiences, but as a protector, educator, activist. With each mother-baby I come in contact with I am empowered. I know that there is a lot I am missing. There is that trinity that I am not currently interacting within.

However, right now I am finding my inner strength, my inner courage, my inner confidence.

I want to thank all the wonderful mothers and babies that have been part of this journey and that have allowed me to humbly attend their birth.