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Sunday, February 3, 2013

3. or no apologies.

i'm supposed to be cooking dinner. 

3 births left to complete NARM requirements. 23 left for alberta/canada. 

i started to read back in my blog to see if i've ever written anything alienating that might jeopardize my chances of getting registered in canada. considered trying to make this blog anonymous. make it untraceable to me. 

i gave up. 

i read over some of what i wrote when i first began this trip. so ideological. i held much judgement over concepts i really knew nothing about. i think i was more critical about the governments role in midwifery in canada, specifically funding. and yeah maybe critical of the way midwifery is implemented in canada. but really? is it perfect anywhere?

what can you expect? i know that i have grown tremendously over these last four years. some of my perspectives have stayed the same. most have changed several times in several unexpected ways. having now worked with 8 or 9 midwives in some capacity, even if it were at one birth i see things a little more clearly.... only to have my world rocked out of complacency as soon as i get comfortable.

i'm not about to make any profound observations here. this is more about taking accountability for my beliefs. the fact that we all grow from our experiences and that is what we should be judged on, not what our unknowing idealistic younger self once believed. 

i'm not going to apologize for what i wrote. partially, to be honest, i'm too lazy to go back through four years of writing to sensor what i once thought. instead i think it better to acknowledge that now. with no apologies. 


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