on monday i was called to my 72nd birth. not all of these have been home births. some have been transports, but were successful vaginal births. others ended in c/s. only one or two were somewhat emergent. one because of bad FHTs that happened after we were in the hospital - 7 mins from decision to incision. the second was a surprise breech. still transported by car, but because she was a primip there wasn't a doc willing to let her attempt a vaginal birth.
but that's not what this is about. on monday i attended my 72nd birth and i'm entering into primary care under supervision.
what i'm learning from this is the language of birth. finding within myself the authenticity of guiding a women through her experience as and if she needs it.
i have been having discussions about the visceral versus the intellectual understanding of birth. number 72 was a primip, but she was also an experienced midwife who had her mind blown from the power and the intensity of her birth. she had a visceral experience of which she had deep intellectual knowledge about.
i know with time i will develop my own language. one that is authentic to me and not seeming like rehearsed lines from a midwifery handbook.
being with woman is one thing, but actually guiding a woman through her experience is another and i don't think you can actually learn this other than doing it. being in that primary role.
one of my special challenges in life is my ability to communicate. verbally. clearly. concisely. effectively.
developing this ability, this language of birth will be awkward. and probably one of the most informative and growing experiences of my midwifery education.