birth student midwife midwifery homebirth childbirth cpm symposium feminism life of a student midwife love new adventures new beginnings power of women becoming a mother birthwise midwifery school cesarean doula empowerment maternity care midwife midwives new life pregnancy public health starting over student midwife to midwife Placenta crafting VBAC acceptance birth center communication death empowering birth excitement fear growing growth health policy internationally trained midwives canada labour induction med-wives midwifery regulations midwives as primary healthcare providers moving forward personal growth prenatal yoga resolutions struggles and challenges the end is nigh transitions CPM DOR HR 1054 MAMA campaign MANA MMBP PROM Placenta Libertation Front Rowan Bailey SlutWalk Suturing activism anais nin ann sexton arizona arizona midwifery augmentation and epidurals awe babymoon inn baptism by fire being on call birth centre birth positions birthwise breastfeeding c/s canada canadian midwifery cancer catching babies changes christmas eats on feets elements family foucault future midwives alliance gender identity graduation grieving having to plan for the future health promotion herbs hospital birth hypnobirthing insomnia joy joys of birth language language of birth learning licensed midwives losing my shit midwifery education midwives as a political decision mother's day mother-baby connection movie night moving to canada multi-jurisdictional midwifery bridging program natural midwife new years resolutions overcoming depression packages in the mail phoenix placenta postpartum postpartum depression power powerful births prelabour/premature rupture of membranes racism rape regina reproductive rights roots saskatchewan midwifery self love self realization sensorship sounds of birth standard-of-care statistics stillbirth student midwife hell tending fires third stage traditional midwifery transition ultrasound uterus waiting for babies washington state midwifery water birth white privilege women's health yoga

Monday, January 21, 2013

5 months or so

i'm gestating.

not physiologically. but physically mentally emotionally, and spiritually.
after five or so months in this practice i've done forty births.

in all 112.

documented. somewhere around seventy or eighty.

my *numbers* are coming together. i'm unlikely to succeed in making the canadian requirements. 30 primary continuity of care. i might be close. i don't know. i stress about this. panic attacks.

in may it will be ten months and i'm due to finish this preceptorship.

i have no idea what happens next. applying to bridging programs. applying to NARM. work permits.

i have to go through this process.

there is no fast >> forward.

i'm gestating an unknown.