this unsettling feeling has been setting in the past few weeks. i haven't really wanted to acknowledge it. but maybe i should just give it a voice and then move on past it.
i'm terrified to be a midwife.
i'm terrified of the responsibility.
not having enough knowledge. not having the answers.
not being able to communicate effectively.
terrified that i don't know where i will practice. i mean. i don't even know what country or continent i will be living in ten months from now.
terrified that if we do go back to canada that i won't get into the bridging program. that i won't be able to get licensed in canada and all of this was for naught.
terrified that i won't be a good midwife.
i think that i am getting too comfortable in the role of the assistant. i think i am damn good at that. i'm terrified to move to the next level.
OK. i said. those thoughts can move on now.
as you were.