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Saturday, November 2, 2013

this is thirty-three

suppose i look a bit miserable. i tried to smile at the last minute, but the train was coming and i had to go. but this is what thirty-three looks like. windblown. and maybe slightly mysterious.

yesterday was the last day of my course, i'm leaving tomorrow to make the trip home. so excited to meet up with a few of my midwife sisters along the way. so happy to have this reunion.

what i have learned over the last few months, is that midwives make the best friends. we may be flaking and unreliable and can never make plans, but when you need to cry, when you need a hug. these are the women you want around you. 

i'm starting in saskatoon on nov. 25th. i can't wait. i can't wait to meet the midwives, to meet the families. my preceptor sounds amazing and i feel is going to be really supportive of getting me to a place where i can not only function as a midwife in canada, but get me the experience in areas that i am weak in. 

i can't wait. this program so far has been teaching me, to not beat myself up because of any deficits that i may be bringing to the table. i do have strengths. and i am still just a young midwife. i have lots of time to grow. 
i was asked last night what i wanted to manifest for this year.

the answer is simple. i want a home to plant my calendula seed. 

everyday i'm feeling closer to that. 

so this is thirty-three. i feel that this is going to be a good year. despite all of the shit i'll have to deal with and the uncertainty that exists, it's going to be good.

one of my soul sisters gave me a card yesterday and in it she wrote: "the only thing in life that is certain, is uncertainty".

that is a truth that i am living right now. and this life, no matter the ups and downs, is good. 


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